The Guide
Guiding Married Couples to Connect Intentionally
Something special happens when two good willed individuals are brought together. Your Monthly Marriage Meetings and The Guide are here to help you and your spouse establish moments of connection with each other.
The Guide
Guiding Married Couples to Connect Intentionally
Something special happens when two good willed individuals are brought together. Your Monthly Marriage Meetings and The Guide are here to help you and your spouse establish moments of connection with each other.
who
AJ is a registered nurse. Kailey is a devoted business owner. Together they have two daughters that teach them many parenting lessons and daily play notes on their heartstrings. We aren’t a couple that has it all figured out. We just are willing to fight every step of the way until we do.
We’re not perfect people and have issues like every other couple.
When we got married, we entered marriage with specific expectations of each other. We each had idealistic views of what a “husband” and “wife” relationship was supposed to be like.
AJ expected to be the leader of the marriage and for Kailey to acknowledge and respect his decision making. He wanted Kailey’s business to start producing immediate returns and had little patience during her start-up phase. He also expected Kailey to put the toilet paper roll in the holder and not on top of it (this is still a work in progress). Kailey expected AJ to not get in the way of her dreams and goals and would get defensive and angry when AJ would question her decisions, especially in regards to business and finances. She also expected him not to put his wet towel on the foot of the bed after showering (this is also still a work in progress).
As a result of these expectations, our marriage struggled. Neither of us were meeting each others expectations, but who was to blame? We blamed each other, but truly it was our expectations of each other that needed to be re-evaluated. What AJ didn’t see was that his desire for immediate payoff from Kailey’s business overpowered his desire to see Kailey pursue a fulfilling career path. What Kailey didn’t see was that AJ was scared. He was scared of being behind financially and was worried about their future goals and endeavors. It didn’t seem foolish at the time, but looking back, we know it was wrong to have these skewed expectations of each other.
Our marriage was in a constant push/pull with heavy tension and stressful moments that often turned into loud, ugly outbursts and destructive arguments.
No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another,
God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
1 John 4:12
what
We found that meeting on a regular basis helped us work on our issues & better our communication.
The only way to work on our issues was to communicate, and we sucked at it. We would bring up whatever was on our minds whenever we felt like it and thought that THIS was good communication. After all, if I’m telling you what’s on my mind, aren’t I communicating to you?
- One-sided or self-centered (“this is what I need from YOU”)
- Poorly timed (“Hey, I know you just got back from work [after 12hrs night shift at the hospital] but can we talk about how we never talk about needing to talk more?”)
- Passive aggressive (“*insert eye-roll* Okay, whatever YOU want. Because you always get what you want.”)
We fought like crazy to keep our marriage strong and loving.
Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving
one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
Ephesians 4:32
why
You get the picture. As we fought like crazy to keep our marriage strong and loving, we still struggled to effectively communicate what we needed from each other. After talking to other couples we learned two very important truths: most couples that enter marriage are poor communicators and we need to learn to effectively communicate to keep our marriages strong. The key is to ask tough questions of one another and be willing to hear how we can better ourselves through positive change.
Once we started to improve our communication, we began to love each other as we were and not as who we wanted each other to be. We were both “works in progress” and not one of us was to blame for our marriage’s problems. We decided to have regular sessions of connection each month to try and stay on the same page, asking questions that we wouldn’t normally be asking on a daily basis. Furthermore, the questions that may make us feel scared and vulnerable were necessary for our marriage to breathe and thrive. At each session, we learned more about each other, poured more into our marriage, and stood stronger in our faith. These meetings became our Monthly Marriage Meetings.
We’ve continued these Monthly Marriage Meetings for almost 6 years now and have seen both the tremendous benefit of doing the meetings and the negative results of letting too much time go by without connecting intentionally.
Because of this, we decided that these precious meetings should be done by every. single. married couple. Through these Monthly Marriage Meetings, we believe that couples can become equipped to fight for their marriages.
And we created a guide to help us.
Because it’s not always easy to begin the initial conversations, we came up with a guide to help prompt and facilitate the meeting. The Guide is a tool armed with questions and topics that helps prepare us for battle in the fight for our marriage. You’ll see as you dive deeper and deeper each month into your meetings, how much stronger together the two of you become.
Our prayer is that this guide and these marriage meetings will help prompt and focus your communication to help you both stay connected and fighting for your marriage rather than in it. Because your marriage is precious and so worth fighting for.
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient,
bearing with one another in love.
Ephesians 4:2
the guide
After many months of writing, editing, deleting, heavy prayers, doubts, fears, elation and joys, the guide that has helped my own marriage grow and thrive is now available for ALL married couples!
$24.00
The two of you have created a life together, you are writing this story together and no matter what you are feeling in this season of life, this is a reminder that the two of you are in this together. You will have plans, you’ll have dreams, and you’ll have goals that the two of you will be excited about. You will also be reminded that you have a God that will help you get through it all.
Available in Digital Download